Monday, December 10, 2007

who by worrying

I have been working lately on a redeeming of my alone time. I am to often apt to spend it wandering aimlessly around bookstores buying more than I have time to read or just tossing in a movie. I have been making my way through the book of Luke as of late. In it I came across Luke 12 in which part of the chapter is dedicated to worry, this was quite timely.
My mind began to wonder back to a conversation I had about a week ago with a single friend of mine. She was lamenting this fact and began to talk about her fears and her future. It is amazing how sometimes the Lord can use us to speak the very truth we need to hear ourselves to one another, He is incredibly kind. As we talked I asked the questions "if you knew, for sure, that marriage is not what he has planned for you, what would you do with your life?" Her dreams for what she wants to do are incredible, she desires to change the world.
I was reflecting on that conversation along with trying to think of it in practical terms of my own life. Karla, you who are prone to wander, what would you want to do/what would you dream of if you were totally trusting your God? Worry is an area of sin for me. I want to be reassured, not forgotten, in control. These are the things that I would do and what I dream about.
-I want to see the poor find their rest in Christ
-I would talk to my family about Jesus with tears and pleading, that they would know and love him.
-I want to have kids and adopt. To raise my children to love and fear their God.
-I would support more missionaries
-sit in silence more, be still.
-listen, not be so quick to fill the silence.
-buy less...stuff.
-make more time for people

I am not even sure what I am trying to convey in this post. As I was trying to make this list the only thing I want that keeps coming to mind is, to be known by my God, to be found in him, to belong to him. I have been laboring under this illusion that worrying will add a day to my life, as if, if I don't worry who will. I have a father who will feed and clothe the sparrows, how much more does he love us. I suppose this entry is really just me preaching to my own soul, but I hope it can do some good for you also.

1 comment:

Matt & Kristin said...

Karla, thanks for sharing! Last week I was dealing with the lack of control I have, realizing I want all of the answers...NOW, trying to avoid pain. Not that I'm not dealing with it today, it's just not full force wrestling today.

He does love you and cares deeply for you. Keep running the good race.