Thursday, August 24, 2006

no paragraphs

My blog seems religiously against obeying my command to put into place paragraphs so no comments on the post! I tried, maybe my blog has joined a cult. JESUS LOVES PARAGRAPHS.

You know what I miss...

BREATHING OUT OF BOTH NOSTRILS. I have been laid up with the flu/cold. I am not quite sure which it is, I would describe my symptoms but I would still like to keep some of you as friends.
What does everyone else do when they are sick, because really, I am quite sure my teenage years really affected how I want to act today. I want to preface this by saying I really am sick and I actually did spend the day 85% in bed and 5% eating popsicles and 10% cleaning my room. Alas, I digress. When I was a child I tried everything to get out of going to school. I am trying to write as honestly as possible knowing that my parents and sister read this blog, but it is time, I am cleaning out my closet.
The art of skipping school is a time honored tradition, I consider myself quite skilled at said art. It worked to my benefit to have had two parents that work. My father traveled a lot, so to make my illness believable I would begin my slight complaining by stating that I felt kind of ill, but I could handle it a few days before dad had a trip planned. I had to know that mom needed to to be at work so as you can imagine, this took quite a lot of planning. After confirming their absence I would plan out my day. It involved obscene amounts of tav, movies, books and candy. I liked to refer to them as "mental health" days. I really don't think I was fooling anyone but lets let me pretend eh?
As a teen coming of age during Ferris Buellers Day Off how could I not micromanage my day. This was before cell phones so don't count me out yet. My father would call on occasion but you could just tell him you were asleep, you see he loved us and therefore believed us. My mother was a whole different ball-game. Connie (madre) would call at "random" intervels, the only way to bypass this was to feign an interest in work and learn her schedule. She was a teacher so asking about classes were your best bet. Once you had that down you had to assume she would call around lunch time (11:10) and you needed to be available around 1:40 also, so about 11:00 and 1:35 I would cough until my throat was raw so when I picked up the phone I wasn't exactly lying. You see, I was in pain.
So I didn't gain 45lbs from the candy I would grab my bike and ride the mile and a half to the local convenience store and then ride around for another couple miles, but not long enough for my absence to be missed or for the incredibly freakish suburban neighborhood watch to kick it. Connie had spies you see, our elderly neighbor Doris and the neighbors in the back yard...all on her payroll doing her bidding. Doris had a weak spot, she had migraines and pulled her shades down, I exploited this to all it was worth (I loved Doris like a grandmother by the way, but you have to do what you have to do.) Anyway, it worked best to get this energy out of the way early so you were available to take the calls, but if not you could always call and explain that you didn't feel well and just wanted to tell someone who cared, that usually works but you run the risk of her rushing home. After the energy is exhausted you have the rest of the day to relax and forget all about that test.
How I loved these lessons of life. I view these tips as necessary for a generation dependent on technology, go simple, works every time. I hope you all are well and enjoying breathing out of your nose and mouth, I will join you in your relief in a few days.
Ps: I love you Mom and Dad and I am sure you always knew when I was lying but thanks for giving your kid a much needed break in the year. And if you post anying mean I will bring out the big guns... I ain't scared

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Ichthyophobia/throwing blows

For all of you doubters, I TOLD YOU IT WAS REAL. To find an impressive name for your petty fears, go to A fear of fish, granted I will give you that it is called the "unspoken" fear. And I do find it hysterical that of course my fear is put into the category of "an intense fear that poses no actual threat." Of course it it. Now, I am scared of only a few things but I do not enjoy the many things and here is a random smattering:
Fish, snakes, mullets, animals dressed as humans, pigeons, oh...ohhh people who go trick or treating a day AFTER halloween (who do you think you are, you only get 1 day of free candy!) when people call sandwiches "sammiches," southern pronunciation, keannu reeves and his crazy eyebrows and I think, I am pretty annoyed by those who see that I am only 5'1'' and stand in front of me in a concert. That is just not neighborly of you.
I realize that this post may give you the impression that I am not in a good mood today, actually that is very untrue. I was just surfing the world wide web and I found out that my annoyances are quite inline with the average urban hipster, and I ask you, who does not like to find their nitch.
Since this is my blog I would also like to take a moment and apologize to the United States Postal Service (an open letter)
To who it may concern:
I am sure this is a simple case of karma retribution that all my mail has been lost lately, dating back to the time when I blamed you for my laziness in sending in bills. I can deal with that, after all, fair is fair. And I suppose to really get back on the right foot I shouldn't say you lost "all" my mail. After all, to be fair I should specify that you only seem to lose the mail that has any significance. Really, I noticed that my request for a J. Crew catalog processed fine as did my request slightly bitter letter involving Taco Bell. But, when it comes to birthday cards, bills, student loan payments you seem to be at a standstill. Forgive me a moment while I address the internet, (See post : MaryBeth, I suck) Internet, I sent my sister a check, it just got returned to me. Back to you postal employee, you see my sister whose birthday I forgot recently moved. I did put the new address on the envelope. Granted, I forgot the Unit J part. Would it have been that hard for your employee to walk up and notice that Mary Beth Goltz lives at unit J? I know you have comfy uniforms now, I saw project runway, get down with your drawstring pants and please deliver my mail. While I am at it, my roommate is starting to not trust me to mail things! I mailed rent, it was missing, I mailed a car lease copy, it "fell off the back of the truck" ext. I suppose I should thank you though, thanks to my near refusal to use your services I have 4 stars by my ebay name because I don't send checks, I only use paypal. They think I am fiscally responsible. I am sorry for my rant, but it must be heard. I hope you (individually) are well and that we can get past this. I am ready, just tell me where to send a box of cookies (they will be ordered through and paid for via...the internet.)

Friday, August 04, 2006

Part Deux

I just got back from running (I think I have been inspired by the sisters marathon.) For the first time I actually enjoyed it. There was a certain freedom that came, save for the sweat that occasionally pooled in my eyes and made me cry. My breathing was constant and deliberate and simply focused. While I ran, (I walked some) I thought about my response to the Boyd sermon. I finally feel ready.
I want to begin by asking what is the one thing that you want to hear Christ say to you, besides "Well done..." Really, what do I want to hear from Christ? I want words that are balm of Giliad to my soul. I want to never doubt. I want to realize that all the hypocricy in the church that makes me want to leave is not him, it was never him, it was just imperfect humans doing what we thought was right. What I really want to hear from Christ is that he loves me, that I can never push him away no matter how hard I run. While I cognitively understand that I will be standing before a all loving God, but how often I distance him. Meaning, I claim Christianity, often Republican, always American as a label. I have forgotten what it means to be a daughter of the Prince of Peace.
During my time in India they asked us not to call ourselves Christians because of the negative ramifications of the word. Many of the people we met thought of America as a Christian institution, and they associated America with Britney Spears and Madonna. Our hearts melted when we saw someone who had never heard the true gospel of Christ and those lies that they bought into were dispelled with the true gospel. Often I get so tied up in debating theological nuances (often important ones!) that I forget where my anchor is tied. Scott Anderson actually brought up most of the points I was going to, so I will exbound on what he has written in the comments section of the first Boyd posting.
I do agree with much of what Greg was speaking of. Listening to the first part of this sermon series on the podcast during his prayer he seemed to know something was stirring he kept asking for intersessors. Lets take a moment and speak of the last presidential election, I am going to give my views and I realize that this was such a hot button topic that people still don't speak of who they voted for unless they enjoyed the tar and feathering. My name is Karla Rae D'Agosta and I voted for George W. Bush. Do I regret it, no. I have NO clue what it is to be that man. I do not believe that he is happy about the war, I believe he is a humble, prayerful man who has a job that I do not envy. He is a sinful man who needs prayer as we all do.
What do you do, really!? All we fed is this line, if you are a Christian you vote for Republican. Republican party+against abortion and gay marriage=Christian vote. The same way it is almost always said that the Democrat party is for the inner city and tax breaks. Which implies that the Democrats are for the slaughtering of innocent lives and all for the alternative lifestyle marriages and Republicans hate the poor and view them as a wast of funds. Absolutely insane. Our founding fathers began with a good idea (constitution) and they realized that it relied on strong morals to make this country work. I cannot be sure, I need to research this more, but the majority of them were not believers correct? Why does it suprise us when the actions of our country don't line up with the bible! America is under this false idea that we are God's chosen ones on the earth, I believe because we have mercifully been without any major (I am talking Tsunami and Rowandan and Sudan levels here) battles on American soil. This thinking is killing us, and Boyd is right to point out where our citizenship resides and the cross is big enough and God is supreme enough to welcome us all. Alas, I digress.
I, as a believer in Jesus Christ consider myself a citizen of Heaven first, and a resident of America. I pray for my nation and those we are at war against. I love the unborn and pray feverishly for the mothers and the children. I pray that people are released from the bonds of homosexuality and find freedom as all of us under bondage need freedom and a propitiation for our sin. As believers, our religious views will slam up against our political views, Not every pastor we meet preaches the bible and so to think that our president /party will encompass our specific beliefs is silly. Let this sermon series, let our Lord inspire us, rather than to fight to take up a path of peace. Follow our Lord and not look for cues from our culture.
And...I am done. For now. Wait, come on Greg...homosexuality is not ideal! What! Don't back down now, 1,000 members just left, you preached from the bible, stand up. Thats all, its just that one sentance REALLY rubbed me the wrong way.

Mary Beth, I suck

To my dear sister...
So, I am guessing it does not matter to you that I called the day before your birthday and the day after. It is amazing how forgetful I can be. Ok so, the check and the card went off in the mail today and like dad says "Cash covers a multitude of sins in this family."
Unbelievable, really! I call grandma and grandpa every week now, even on vetrens day and I can't remember your birthday, come on self, buck up. It is the same day for 24 years now. I suppose that now the title of einstein can now be mine. I am sorry, I suck. Well good thing you are in marathon training and can take your frustration out on the road or something. I love you.
To everyone else,
crazy busy, lack of carbs is making me dizzy I think. Actually I have been trying to find time to actually listen to the Boyd sermon and not just post off of that article. I might have to do the later. I will say that Donald Miller and Derek Web have a interesting pod cast on exactly this subject (Is America a Christian nation.) All you need to do is type in Donald Miller under podcasts and it is cast 2. Stay tuned, I will write soon.
By the way, Scott, you found my blog! Welcome, it was great to see you posted and are not one of what I like to refer to as "lurkers." I am guessing Liz told you. Way to go Liz, I need all the recruiting I can get.
See ya'll in 54 days. Are any of you going to the conference?