Kyrie Eleison

Lord have mercy
Christ have mercy
Lord have mercy on me.

I feel often times like I could give Paul (apostle) a solid run for his money in the whole "chief of sinners" catagory. I am horrified at how quickly I believe Satans lies. I look for earthly validation to tell me that I am good enough. I am torn between the desire to write about my sin in depth, be transparent and expell it from what seems to be the depths of my soul. Then again, I am aware though that this is the internet...it is not fun to boadcast your depths for the whole world.
I am noticing lately how I look at sin, not as something that is waging a eternal war for my soul and has the power to send me to hell away from my savior. Rather, I see it as something to indulge in, feel bad about for a time, and then when I think I can get away from it do it again. This is a war for my soul!! Christian, WAKE UP. Sleeper, awake! I feel fast bound in sin and lazy in my fighting. Last night which should have been a wonderful night out with friends, I found myself sulking, frusterated and angry. Instead of falling before my father, I allowed the indulgence believing that this is fine...and totally justifiable. "the heart is sick, who can understand it..."
May we as believers of grace find grace and mercy for what we seek in our Saviors side, may we fight the fight of faith knowing that there is an eternal weight of Glory at stake. May we trust that he will provide for all our needs when it is for his Glory and our best, and most of all...may we never forget that we have a great highpriest who is sympathetic with our desire and a Spirit who interceeds on our behalf. Lord, this is true, help us to believe it.
I was singing this song today in the car on the way to church and then we ended up singing it there, let the words wash over you and bring true repentance and grace in the side of our Lord.

Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song,
the joy of my heart, and the boast of my tongue.
Thy free grace alone from the first to the last,
has won my affection adn bound my soul fast.

Without thy sweet mercy I could not live here.
Sin would reduce me to utter despair.
But through thy free goofnesss my spirits revive,
and he that first made me still keeps me alive.

Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart.
Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart.
Dissolved by the goodness I fall to the ground
and weep for the praise of the mercy I've found.

Great father of mercies! Thy goodness I own.
And the covenant love of thy crucified Son.
All praise to the Spirit whose whisper deving,
seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine!