Sunday, September 17, 2006

Top 5

It is one of those days here in Chattanooga where you do not wish you were anywhere else. It is 80 degrees outside, a slight breeze and unless you have sun repelling skin like myself you are basking in the glow of cancer. I am sitting outside right where a huge elm tree used to stand, before it was hit by lightning in coolidge park watching children run through the sculpture sprinklers and just enjoying the day and then I decided to blog. I have been at a loss of what to blog about lately, just thinking that my life was not interesting enough to post on the internet then I remembered I have opinions, lots of them. There is a book called "No one cares what you had for lunch 100 things to blog about." I now give you my opinion on number 33 entitled "what are your relationship deal breakers?"

Before I dive into this post I have to say that God has a way of giving me things that I do not want and bending my will (often forcibly) to his. Some examples, I have always said I would never visit (living didn't even enter into my thought process) in the South (especially not AK, TN or AL,) I had no heart for muslim ministry, I did not like jobs in service, I do not (for the most part) enjoy meeting new people, I never wanted to live in the inner city and I loved America. Now, take notice of how things have changed. I live in TN, I taught a muslim family English and I love learning about the culture, my life is now a service ministry, I am constantly meeting new people and putting THEM at ease, I moved to the inner city in Mpls and it took root in my soul and I desire to live overseas or at least visit a whole lot. Right..here is hoping that the deal breakers in dating do not end up that way. One more thing, these are my, I meet you and within 4 seconds I know I will never date you, top 5. With that said, lets begin.

1) Almost nothing gets on my nerves like a german/russian accent. Really, I can barley stand it. I am sure they produce intelligent, kind people but when they talk...I want to bash my head into a wall. Those of you who know me can not find one Russian friend I have ever had, it is the accent, it is proven how much I don't like it by the fact that it is number 1. Bring on the hate mail, I am just warming up.

2) Velvet/shinny shirts. What, are you Danny Devito? Seriously, the Gap, they have a men section. I want no part of this Right Said Fred, I'm to sexy for this fabric. Just stop it.

3) Chewing tobacco...e w w w.

4) Excessive complaining/why me. Oh my goodness. Shut up. We just met, I do not care if you hate your boss/life/family. And basically, to sum it up, I am guessing they are not so fond of you either.

5) Long Hair on men. Wookie. It just creeps me out, get a haircut hippie. Now, I love the shaggy look (not the cartoon shaggy, but the Owen/Luke Wilson shaggy.) That being said I am going to add in general maintenance. No one is offended if your chest hair does not wink at us from inside your shirt. shudder.


So those are mine. I just found out that I am shallow. What are your top five?

8 comments:

Jason said...

I am surprised that you didn't mention the mullet, though that would come under #5 I guess! Hilarious!

karla said...

ohhh no Jason, quite the contrary. You see, I find myself in situations where I run into those in the top 5 but when I see a mullet I snicker then immediatly turn away. To acknowledge it is to notice it exists. By the way, are you going to the DG conference?

Liz said...

Karla - my Top 5, a LONG time ago were:

1. No MK's
2. No PK's
3. No one that wanted kids.
4. No clean cut guys - I LOVED the long, shaggy look!
5. No one from Monticello!

So...let's think about these, shall we? The only one that I avoided was the last one. And boy, am I ever happy that God knew better than me! Here I am, married to an MK that is now the father of 4!!! PK's, who is ever so clean cut! (although when we started dating he did have a permed mullet - and i LOVED it!) Yes, I'm sick.

See you in a week or so - can't wait!

karla said...

I am going to need evidence of said permed mullet! I have seen wedding pictures of the Hyatts and Erik also had said mullet. Shh don't tell anyone.

Jason said...

oooh a permed mullet - that is a rare bird! a rare bird indeed! don't see many of those in the south here -- mostly feathered (usually under a NASCAR ballcap).

unfortunately I won't be the DG conf. very sad. please blog about it though! I'm looking forward to hearing all about it and getting the audio (though I still haven;t listened to all of last years audio! too much to listen too!)

em said...

Top 5:

1: No ultra-make-up freaks
2: No expendo cars (AKA rich spoiled brats... I will not support that lifestyle, just FYI)
3: No "I can't do anything myself! I'm so helpless!!" Shoot me!
4: No um... I can't think of anything more. But, put it in front of me, and I can definitely point out all the "No-no's!"

Oy vey...

Anonymous said...

1) Bad teeth/breath...sick
2) pants that are too short and they have no idea. Eric JUST passes by on this. We went on a Mary Beth-sponsored pants binge a few weeks ago to fix the problem
3)Being carniverous. I will never cook meat for anybody. I cried when mom made me make meatballs when I was 11 and nothing has changed. Thank goodness I am married because this rule eliminates about 98% of the american population
4)Sports jerseys...do you seriously not have anything else to wear? Exception: If you are on a sports team and you are in the middle of a game.
5) saying anything negative about my family/cat. I will kill you and if you think I am kidding try me.

Also, to Karla and all of her friends: I think that the mullett is an unspoken dealbreaker for anybody. People that actually have mullets AND significant others should consider themselves extremely lucky that there is somebody out there willing to tolerate the way they look with that ridiculous/awful haircut. However, Our aunt Kay has given several people mullets in her many years as a cosmetologist but I still lovingly tell her that if she's not part of the solution she is part of the problem.

Sarah V. said...

Karla,
Yes, yesterday was BEAUTIFUL! I went for a walk downtown by the river...
My top five? Hmmm...not sure I can choose right now, but definitely not owning any classical CD's that say "Mozart's Top Hits" or "Russian Sensations", "Violin for Relaxation", etc. (Yes, call me a snob)