Who's bad?

http://www.foolishblog.com/extras/piperisbad.mp3

-this is the best thing I have been sent in a year (apart from the laptop). Shout out to Gus

secret shame

I would like to admit something, I think it is time. The topic came up at work today of secret shame in relation to tv, movies and music. Queen was mentioned along with Billy Ray, some hard core rap was thrown in ext. When I said mine the room actually stood still and one person gasped. My favorite song, hands down, is "thank God I'm a Country Boy" by John Denver. I know every lyric. It makes my heart glad. My tv shame is Jem and the Holograms. Don't hate, frankly Synergy and the misfits were the best character development I have seen in a while. Whats your shame?

how much he loves her

I was going to title this posting "whipped" but I decided that was crass. Although really...please. My sisters husband Erik actually takes their cat "lieger" for walks at night. My sister goes running, Erik the philosophy teaching, mountain climbing, sarcasm dripping man takes the cat on a walk. Just stretch your mind to imagine their neighborhood, it is rich white people. These people I am guessing own big golden retrievers and SUVs. I bet they think he ROCKS. Did I mention the cat is on a leash? Also that that cat actually gets dry ice to cool it down when it is hot because they do not have air conditioning. That cat has it better than me. By the way, if this post is not tickling your funny bone, read it slower because it is you, not me.

wow.

I went onto google and was looking for shirts or posters on the civil rights movement today, I stumbled upon the above.
I just want to say that it made me sad. We will never be as perfect as our Christ as we are totally depraved but often times I wish our faith didn't need to be broadcasted with "modest is hottest" tee shirts or "whitty" wordplay. I just think we need to see Jesus and so until that time, we fast and pray and cry maranatha, come quickly Jesus.

Top 5

It is one of those days here in Chattanooga where you do not wish you were anywhere else. It is 80 degrees outside, a slight breeze and unless you have sun repelling skin like myself you are basking in the glow of cancer. I am sitting outside right where a huge elm tree used to stand, before it was hit by lightning in coolidge park watching children run through the sculpture sprinklers and just enjoying the day and then I decided to blog. I have been at a loss of what to blog about lately, just thinking that my life was not interesting enough to post on the internet then I remembered I have opinions, lots of them. There is a book called "No one cares what you had for lunch 100 things to blog about." I now give you my opinion on number 33 entitled "what are your relationship deal breakers?"

Before I dive into this post I have to say that God has a way of giving me things that I do not want and bending my will (often forcibly) to his. Some examples, I have always said I would never visit (living didn't even enter into my thought process) in the South (especially not AK, TN or AL,) I had no heart for muslim ministry, I did not like jobs in service, I do not (for the most part) enjoy meeting new people, I never wanted to live in the inner city and I loved America. Now, take notice of how things have changed. I live in TN, I taught a muslim family English and I love learning about the culture, my life is now a service ministry, I am constantly meeting new people and putting THEM at ease, I moved to the inner city in Mpls and it took root in my soul and I desire to live overseas or at least visit a whole lot. Right..here is hoping that the deal breakers in dating do not end up that way. One more thing, these are my, I meet you and within 4 seconds I know I will never date you, top 5. With that said, lets begin.

1) Almost nothing gets on my nerves like a german/russian accent. Really, I can barley stand it. I am sure they produce intelligent, kind people but when they talk...I want to bash my head into a wall. Those of you who know me can not find one Russian friend I have ever had, it is the accent, it is proven how much I don't like it by the fact that it is number 1. Bring on the hate mail, I am just warming up.

2) Velvet/shinny shirts. What, are you Danny Devito? Seriously, the Gap, they have a men section. I want no part of this Right Said Fred, I'm to sexy for this fabric. Just stop it.

3) Chewing tobacco...e w w w.

4) Excessive complaining/why me. Oh my goodness. Shut up. We just met, I do not care if you hate your boss/life/family. And basically, to sum it up, I am guessing they are not so fond of you either.

5) Long Hair on men. Wookie. It just creeps me out, get a haircut hippie. Now, I love the shaggy look (not the cartoon shaggy, but the Owen/Luke Wilson shaggy.) That being said I am going to add in general maintenance. No one is offended if your chest hair does not wink at us from inside your shirt. shudder.


So those are mine. I just found out that I am shallow. What are your top five?

bleeding eyes.

If we are referring to the world in general, I am of average to slightly above in the intelligence department. I like reading and I can even understand what I read. The real question I want to pose to you Internet is this. HOW can I be so smart in some areas and SO incredibly daft in others. It took me 2 HOURS to download the Itunes 7.0 today. It is supposed to be as easy as pushing a "download" button. Inside my head, my brain was bleeding. I then realize after numerous calls to apple support that my computer has a "Software Update" button which does it for me so I do not manually need to install Satans birth-child known as itunes. This is sad, really. I love itunes! It allows me to download project runway and gives me all the updates on I ever need on what is hip, now. I really do love it, although I hate updating things because I do not know how and we have all seen how skilled I am at linking. Good goodness. That is all I have to say. Well, that and I will be home in 12 days!!!!!! I am seeing my favorite people, eating more Indian food than one girl was ever meant to consume, and watching my sister run (my favorite way to enjoy the sport of running.) If I do not post for a while forgive me. I am working 9 days straight leading up to the trip, although I have a 6 hour wait for my flight in ATL so I am sure I will post about people watching in the airport.

mess o stuff

I am aware that I am a bad friend Internet. I do not pay attention to you like I should and I promise that I have never sent any of you flowers, although I have never really sent any of my actual friends flowers either. hmmm, note to self, be more pro-active. I digress, I have been meaning to post but what I want to post about seems to elude me, that is to say, yet again I have forgotten how to link. Yep, that darn hyperlink just simply does not exist and that is not my fault. Really, I consider myself smarter than the average and why on earth I cannot grasp this simple task makes me want to beat my head in. Frustration to the max. So, you will need to trust me and go to youtube.com and type in Obediah Parker and you will realize that his rendition of HeyYa by Outkast is one of my most beautiful things you will have heard in a while I guarantee. Let me know what you think.

My mind has been racing lately. I went on my friend Jonathan Christmans blog (you can get to it on the left hand side of this blog) and saw his photos of India and I just began crying. I have been pushing foreign missions out of my mind lately telling my self that this is where I am at, I am doing missions, how else can I prepare? I have been running from what God has called me to. It is an odd thing to be happy where you are at and see the good things that the Lord has provided and yet long with a longing almost too deep for words to be somewhere else. He has enlarged my heart for the nations and I am really trying to just be faithful where I am called at the moment.

Contrary to the popular belief I want to say that I have not forgotten about long term missions. I am here, learning how to serve the homeless and God is showing me more about his character through them than I could have ever guessed. I have grown to LOVE these people. I think in the tinniest idea of how parents can have their heart broken and be frustrated and angry beyond words by their children and yet would do anything for them. They daily challenge me with their questions and in turn I feel like I am asking for big answers from God. Questions like What is the Church?, What is helping and restoring dignity vs enabling? I also feel like I am ashamed of the church often times. I really don't know of many churches who really would honestly love the prostitute. They are not pretty, when you have been on drugs for 18 years and on the streets you rarely know how to behave in a manner that you get you by in a suburban church or really anywhere in public. I am learning that before I moved here I wanted to outcome of Pauls ministry without being willing to pay the price he paid.

I have struck up a friendship with 3 unlikely people and since I will be referring to them you should get an idea of who they are.
Jonathan: He is a wiccan and he read my tarot cards the other week. I was nervous because I have an unhealthy interest in that stuff so I just avoid it. He was the one who took almost a full weekend to show me my computer, never complains when I ask him to do something, always is kind, and is open to all things, all people and is gay. Jonathan and I have spoken a lot about God vs his High being. He asked me on my view of tarot and I explained that I believe that that has power and not the kind of power I want to tap into. He read my cards and we started talking about if things are predestined to occur or not. That tarot reading (that I prayed right through it) became the best witnessing opportunity that I have had in the last 10 years. Jonathans heart is vulnerable, he is not sure about heaven or hell, and he is hurt by almost everyone around him. Jonathan will say that being homeless is the best and the worst thing that has ever happened to him, he wonders if God has abandoned the people on the streets. Please pray for Jonathan.

Silas: Imagine a 70 year old white man with a tattered cowboy hat, a flannel shirt (red checkered) and tan pants and you have silas. I have met both of these men because they stay at the mens shelter and have to work in the kitchen with me on the weekends. Silas cannot read, he lost that ability after years of drug use caused a stroke and a hemorrhage and I believe there was an operation. Before this happened Silas loved to read the Puritans (seriously!) We bonded over the favorite book "a bruised reed." Silas had Robbie another gay male read him a chapter a night. Recently I found a bunch of old John Piper tapes among others and some men chipped in and bought him a tape player for him to listen to some solid theology. I have never seen an old man so happy. Now that I am thinking of it, if any of you have any old tapes (the sermons are free online available for download) and you would like to bless some others like Silas give me a shout out. Anyway, Silas has a troubled past, lives with 4 other veterans, has little to no Christian community and truly teaches me that "A bruised reed He will not break, and a faintly burning wick He will not quench;. He will faithfully bring forth justice." Isaiah 42:3

and last Nikki. Nikki has been a prostitute and a crack addict for 18 years, and she, with her first breath will tell you that the Lord sustains her and she has been clean for 4 days. She was clean for 2 weeks but then she used. Just imagine, it took my breath away to think of this. She has used crack/cocaine everyday for 18 years, she has been without it for 4 days. Nikki brings me joy. I have never seen her not smile or heard her complain. It also doesn't hurt that she tells me that I am beautiful daily. This woman talks loudly, speaks about Christ more joyfully that I have ever heard. Nikki does have believers in her life, her pastor and his wife visits her every other day, they pick her up, take her to church and they are proud of her. I love this woman and I know that this one, if she falls, has the power to break my heart.

I guess I just decided to post this random tirade because, Jesus loves the poor. He aches for the broken and I am realizing just how busy I have been trying to clean myself up for him and others. So run to him friends... find rest for your weary souls and stop trying to be someone else. I am going to leave you with lyrics to a song that sums up the problem of prostitution better than I could ever put into words, may it bring us to our knees in prayer:
What would you do
If your son was at home
Crying all alone on the bedroom floor
'Cause he's hungry?
And the only way to feed him
Is to sleep wit' a man
For a little bit of money
And his Daddy's gone somewhere
Smokin' rock now
In and out of lock down
I ain't got a job now
So for you this is just a good time
But for me this is what I call life

don't worry, I am aware that because this is a serious post I will get no response but I hope that is not the case. Comment, how else will I know anyone else has an opinion!