For all of you doubters, I TOLD YOU IT WAS REAL. To find an impressive name for your petty fears, go to aboutphobias.com A fear of fish, granted I will give you that it is called the "unspoken" fear. And I do find it hysterical that of course my fear is put into the category of "an intense fear that poses no actual threat." Of course it it. Now, I am scared of only a few things but I do not enjoy the many things and here is a random smattering:
Fish, snakes, mullets, animals dressed as humans, pigeons, oh...ohhh people who go trick or treating a day AFTER halloween (who do you think you are, you only get 1 day of free candy!) when people call sandwiches "sammiches," southern pronunciation, keannu reeves and his crazy eyebrows and I think, I am pretty annoyed by those who see that I am only 5'1'' and stand in front of me in a concert. That is just not neighborly of you.
I realize that this post may give you the impression that I am not in a good mood today, actually that is very untrue. I was just surfing the world wide web and I found out that my annoyances are quite inline with the average urban hipster, and I ask you, who does not like to find their nitch.
Since this is my blog I would also like to take a moment and apologize to the United States Postal Service (an open letter)
To who it may concern:
I am sure this is a simple case of karma retribution that all my mail has been lost lately, dating back to the time when I blamed you for my laziness in sending in bills. I can deal with that, after all, fair is fair. And I suppose to really get back on the right foot I shouldn't say you lost "all" my mail. After all, to be fair I should specify that you only seem to lose the mail that has any significance. Really, I noticed that my request for a J. Crew catalog processed fine as did my request slightly bitter letter involving Taco Bell. But, when it comes to birthday cards, bills, student loan payments you seem to be at a standstill. Forgive me a moment while I address the internet, (See post : MaryBeth, I suck) Internet, I sent my sister a check, it just got returned to me. Back to you postal employee, you see my sister whose birthday I forgot recently moved. I did put the new address on the envelope. Granted, I forgot the Unit J part. Would it have been that hard for your employee to walk up and notice that Mary Beth Goltz lives at unit J? I know you have comfy uniforms now, I saw project runway, get down with your drawstring pants and please deliver my mail. While I am at it, my roommate is starting to not trust me to mail things! I mailed rent, it was missing, I mailed a car lease copy, it "fell off the back of the truck" ext. I suppose I should thank you though, thanks to my near refusal to use your services I have 4 stars by my ebay name because I don't send checks, I only use paypal. They think I am fiscally responsible. I am sorry for my rant, but it must be heard. I hope you (individually) are well and that we can get past this. I am ready, just tell me where to send a box of cookies (they will be ordered through and paid for via...the internet.)