this is how I often view sin. It is not pretty, I am scared to let Christ be the propitiation for my sin, to let the Godman take my place and to find him infinatly sweeter than the fleeting moment of pleasure that sin offers. This is part one of a section of the "Great Divorce" by C.S. Lewis my favorite author.
"I saw coming towards us a Ghost who carried something on his shoulder. Like all the Ghosts, he was unsubstantial, but they differed from one another as smokes differ. Some had been whitish; this one was dark and oily. What sat on his shoulder was a little red lizard, and it was twitching its tail like a whip and whispering things in his ear. As we caught sight of him he turned his head to the reptile with a snarl of impatience. "shut up, I tell you!" he said. It wagged its tail and continued to whisper to him. He ceased snarling, and presently began to smile. Then he turned and started to limp westard, away from the mountains. "off so soon?" said a voice. The speaker was more or less human in shape but larger than a man, and so bright that I could hardly look at him. His presence smote on my eyes and on my body too like the morning sun at the beginning of a tyrannous summer day. "Yes. I'm off," said the Ghost. "Thanks for all your hospitality. But it's no good, you see. I told this little chap," (here he indicated the lizard), "that he'd have to be quiet if he came-which he insisted on doing. Of course his stuff won't do here; I realise that. But he won't stop. I shall just have to go home."
"Would you like me to make him quiet? Said the flaming Spirit-an angel, as I now understood.
"Of course I would," said the Ghost.
"Then I will kill him," said the Angel, taking a step forward.
"Oh-ah-look out! You're burning me. Keep away," said the Ghost, retreating.
"Don't you want him killed?"
"You didn't say anything about killing him at first. I hardly meant to bother you with anything so drastic as that."
"It's the only way," said the Angel, whose burning hands were now very close to the lizard. "Shall I kill it?"
"Well, that's a further question. I'm quite open to consider it, but it's a new point, isn't it? I mean, for the moment I was only thinking about silencing it because up here-will, it's so damned embarrassing."
"May I kill it?"
"well, there's time to discuss that later."
"There is no time. May I kill it?"
"Please, I never meant to be such a nuisance. Please-really-don't bother. Look! It's gone to sleep of its own accord. I am sure it'll be all right now. Thanks ever so much."
"May I kill it?"
"Honestly, I don't thing there's the slightest necessity for that. I'm sure I shall be able to keep it in order not. I whink the gradual process would be far better than killing it."
"The gradual process is of no use at all."
"Don't you think so? Well, I'll think over what you've said very carefully. I honestly will. In fact I'd let you kill it now, but as a matter of fact I'm not feeling frightfully wee today. It would be silly to do it now. I'd need to be in good health for the operation. Some other day, perhaps.